[lily197]

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

******

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

******

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

******

A woman woke up and told her husband of about her last night's dream. "I was at an auction for dicks. The big ones sold for ?1,000 and the tiny ones for ?10."
The husband says, "What about one my size?"
His wife responds, "Didn't get a bid," and then laughs to herself.
The husband wants revenge, so the next morning he tells his wife about his dream last night. "I was at an auction for vaginas. The really tight one's sold for ?1,000 and the loose ones for ?10."
His wife says, "What about ones like mine?"
The husband smiles and says, "That's where they held the auction."

******