[lily197]

Paddy phones for an ambulance on his mobile because his mate has been
hit by a car on their way back from a night at their pub in Donegal.

Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears
and I tink both his legs are broken.'

Operator: 'What is your location sir?'

Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street .'

Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
(Silence)

After a minute: 'Hello, this is the operator, are you there sir?'
(Heavy panting)

Operator, sounding concerned: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
(Only more heavy panting)

Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'

Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat. I just dragged him round to number tree Oak Street, dats O--A--K Street'

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Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks,'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says: 'So what were you watchin'?'
Billy says, 'Wimbledon.'

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A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband,
'I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies: 'Your eyesight is perfect.'

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Wife gets naked & asks hubby,
'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies:
'Your sense of humour!'

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An elderly couple was attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband,
'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'